The One That I Truly Love
by JapaneseMiko
Summary: One Shot. Based on an RP a friend and I started. Ryuichi is having trouble opening up to the one he now loves because of thoughts of the one he lost long ago. Is Tatsuha enough to forget the past or will Ryuichi stay locked in it forever?


**_Warning: You have been warned. This is a yaoi fiction. Why are you even reading Gravitation fiction if you don't like the thought of two men being together? Did you get your mangas mixed up or something? All flames will go to fueling the fire in my fireplace come winter time. _**

**_There will be an OC in this fic. Don't worry, she's not in it for long and she doesn't really play that big of a part...Wait...I lied...She plays a pretty big part. Once again, if you don't like this, then don't read it._**

**_For those of you that are left,I would just like to remind you that this is based off of a RP a friend and I are doing. I got the idea on night when I couldn't sleep and was reading over our old files. Sakura belongs to me. Stanton and Sakia belong to my friend. There is no precedence for this event in the manga or anime series. It is just a stupid little thing we like to do in our spare time._**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Ryuichi or Tatsuha or Noriko or even Tohma. As much as I would like the credit for the creation of one of the most wonderful shonen-ai series to hit the market,I had no part in it's creation. I thought of most of this, but there are allusions to 'Crash Course' an RP that my friend started. I hope you enjoy this and look forward to more Gravitation fictions from me in the future._**

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* * *

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_A young woman turns and smiles sweetly at a brown-haired man. She giggles and waves her hand as she heads for a car where another man and another woman are waiting for her. The brunette sighs and follows._

_"Do you really have to go? You could always stay here, with me. I'm sure I could make it up to you in some way." He was practically begging. He didn't know exactly why, but he had a bad feeling about this whole trip, and it had nothing to do with the fact that he couldn't join his twin and her boyfriend, or his new wife of three months. There was just this odd sensation that something was going to go horribly wrong if any of them went anywhere, but the others were determined. The young man that was already in the car was going to be driving them to one of his book signing, and his wife, who was also an author, was going for the public exposure it would give her. He knew that she wouldn't have gone if she hadn't promised her agent that she would, but he thought that he would try one more time just to be sure. All he knew was that, if she went, he wouldn't be able to rest at all until she was back where she belonged, in his arms._

_"You know that I promised. I would feel bad if I went back on it now. Don't worry. I'll be back tomorrow and then we can celebrate that new album you released. You're going to make it, Ryu. I know you will." And just like that, with a large smile, she was gone.

* * *

_

_Ryuichi sat stock still as he watched the police cars stop in front of his house. It was as though everything was moving in slow motion. Nothing was making sense to him anymore. It was as though the whole world had gone numb. He just couldn't process all the things that were right in front of his face any more._

_The cop's words began to slur together. What was that he'd said? Oh yes. "Mr. Sakuma? I am so sorry that I have to say this, but." Ryuichi was only able to catch bits and pieces of the rest of it. He just seemed to know. "Horrible accident...so sorry...drunk driver...jaws of life...too late...your sister...Mr. Gide...didn't make it...I'm sorry...Mrs. Sakuma...held on like nothing I've ever seen...back seat...sorry...She's dead..."_

_"Dead?" It was more of a question than a statement, and the poor police man nodded. He just wanted to get home to his own family. It was breaking that man's heart to have to tell the almost famous singer about the accident. It was so tragic. They both seemed so young. He had just read about them expecting in the papers the day before. They had looked so happy in the pictures. It was a tragedy, but at least they had caught the drunk that did it. If the police man had anything to do with it, the man who was responsible for ruining this man's life was going to pay for it one thousand times over. It was a crying shame when something like this happened, even more so when it happened to four people so centered in the public's eye. No. This man wasn't going to be allowed to forget this for a long time. He truly felt sorry for the man, and he would tell his own wife so once he returned home and had snuggled up next to her in their bed, thanking whatever god was listening that it hadn't happened to her._

_Ryuichi retreated into the darkness of his, for now it was truly his alone, house. He sunk down on the sofa and stared blankly at the floor. The police man, against his better judgement, followed the heartbroken man. It wasn't uncommon for one to contemplate suicide rather than dwell on a life that included never seeing your beloved alive ever again, but he didn't know that Ryuichi wasn't that kind of man. He also wasn't expecting what would come next._

_Our poor little Ryuichi just sat there with one word echoing through his mind. "Dead...dead...dead...dead..." It just couldn't be. He'd seen her just a few hours ago. She had been perfectly fine and happy. She was going to come home soon laughing with his twin and her boyfriend while they talked about what a fool he'd been to fall for such a dirty trick. She would smile at him and turn her deep, brown eyes his way and he would have to forgive her on the spot. Of course, he would read her the riot act later for making him worry like that, but that would come later. Hopefully, after they'd managed to send out his deranged sister and her lover and while they were laying, spent, on their bed. The very bed that had been the key in the conception of their child. Oh yes, they would laugh about it all later, and it would make a great story to tell the kid later after he had grown up a bit. He could see it now: "Hey son? Did I ever tell you about the time your mother and your aunt and uncle faked their own deaths just to play a stupid prank on me?"_

_But a part of him knew that it was stupid to think that way. Sakia might have done something like that at some time, but his wife would never do something that mean on purpose. She knew how much he had worried when she'd left earlier that day. No, there was no hope that this was just a joke. She was far too sweet and good-natured to allow his sister to talk her into something of this magnitude. Plus, all three of them were supposed to be staying in Jersey for two days due to the signing. They wouldn't have risked leaving that important event early, and it would have wasted too much gas for Stanton to even contemplate agreeing to the prank. So, there went his only hope that this was just a dumb thing the three of them had done to get back at him for something._

_There was another knock at the door? Well, more of on the doorframe, seeing as no one had chosen to close the door. Ryuichi looked up lifelessly at his friends. The police man just stood there wondering who these new people were, and if he was going to have to relay the bad news twice in the same night, but his confusion was taken away in an instant. The two in the doorway moved immediately for the distraught man seated on his couch. _

"_Ryuichi? Are you all right. We heard about it on the news. I am so sorry, man. I really am." The police man recognized one of the keyboard players from that band. What was it again? Oh yeah. Nittle Grasper or something like that._ _His own daughter was obsessed with their music. If this didn't break the young man completely, he might have a great future in music. It struck him as even more tragic in light of this new development. But at the moment he was too busy thanking the gods once again that he didn't have to stay any longer. He tipped his hat and left as quickly as he had come. It looked like the three needed to be alone for now. They could do all the identifying and stuff tomorrow_.

_Noriko hugged Ryuichi close to her. "Ryuichi? Are you going to be all right? It's ok if you want to cry, man. We won't hold it against you."_

_Tohma just stood there in the middle of the living room, looking extremely uncomfortable. He didn't know exactly what to do in a situation like this, but Noriko seemed to have everything under control at the moment. Ryuichi seemed to be going through his own little phase of denial and Tohma knew from past experiences that there was going to be no getting through to the guy, so he just didn't try. Noriko didn't know that though. She also obviously wasn't aware that the Ryuichi they knew and loved might have been a bit of a ditz at times, and he was known to cry when he didn't get his way, but when he was in his serious mode, like now, asking him to cry was like yelling at the sky for being blue. That was just the way things were._

"_Noriko? Tohma? Could you please leave now? I just want to be alone. Tell our boss that I'm taking off a couple of weeks for the funeral and stuff. I need to arrange for the bodies to be flown to Japan. I know that she would have wanted to be buried at her old family shrine." Ryuichi dead panned. 'That's right. The shrine. It was where I saw her beautiful face for the first time, so it makes sense that it would also be the spot where I see her face for the last time.'_

_Tohma pried a sobbing Noriko off of the nineteen year old lead singer. It was best to respect the grieving's wishes in times like these. They both left as swiftly and as silently as they had come. Nothing to announce their arrival and nothing to announce their departure. It was as though they had just flown away never to be seen again, and for all Ryuichi cared at the moment, they could have done just that._

_He slid down to the floor, his mind stuck on that one, dreadful word. It was almost too much for him to take. He whispered his one, true love's name out into the quiet dawn. He could feel his heart breaking in two. He then vowed that he would never love another woman so long as he lived. And, uttering her name, he sealed the promise._

"_Sakura."

* * *

_

"Tatsuha? Can you come here for a minute? I need to show you something."Our little lead singer had grown up, but he had never forgotten what he had promised himself on that one morning long ago. He was never going to fall in love with another woman as long as he lived, but there was nothing to say that he wasn't going to fall in love with a man this time. For that was exactly what had happened. He had fallen for his best friend's boyfriend's brother, and he didn't find anything wrong with that. He had kept his promise and, it being twenty years since the accident, he didn't feel as though he was betraying her anymore.

"Ryu? I mean...I'm sorry. I meant to say Ryuichi." Tatsuha looked nervous. Ryuichi had seemed so distant in the past few weeks. Ever since he had gone to that meeting with Tohma. Tatsuha was positive that something the head of NG had said was the cause of the more subdued nature in the lead vocalist making an appearance. Even Kumagoro hadn't been able to cheer the man, now thirty one year old, up.

Now Tatsuha was worried about his little transgression a couple of seconds ago. Ryuichi did not allow anyone to call him Ryu for some reason. It just seemed like a natural thing to call him, since his name could become tedious to say after a while, but there was just something about the nickname that made his precious Ryuichi nervous and high strung. He hadn't wanted to be the cause of stress in his lover, so he quickly dropped the name.

"It's ok, Tatsuha. That's one of the things I need to talk to you about. Could you please come in here?" Now Tatsuha was even more confused, and slightly more nervous. Whenever Ryuichi sounded like that, there was nothing good going on. The normally care-free man only took on a serious tone like this when he was deep in thought or singing on stage. Tatsuha couldn't see a stage anywhere as he entered in the room where they kept the big screen TV, so he just assumed that his love had been thinking again. And that was never a good thing where Ryuichi was concerned. Tatsuha couldn't quite place it, but there was this odd, almost, sad look in the vocalist's eyes when he'd been thinking.

"Ryuichi..."

"Sh. Just listen. There's been a few things that I've wanted to tell you for a long time now." He went on when he realized he had the dark-haired man's complete and undivided attention. "As you may know already, I was married a long time ago. To a beautiful woman when I was just a teenager."

Tatsuha nodded. He'd heard about that, he was Ryuichi's number one fan after all, but he'd never found out what had happened to the girl. All the press coverage after they had announced a child on the way had seemingly disappeared. He had no way of knowing what had happened to her, or the child she was carrying. He just assumed that Ryuichi and her had parted ways somewhere along the lines, since he had never mentioned having a wife since he'd started going out with the man.

"But what you don't know is where she is now." Another nod. "Well, I intend to show you, but not until after you watch this little video that Tohma made a long time ago. Twenty years ago to be exact."

They both fell silent as Ryuichi hit the 'play' button. The video player sprang to life and images of a small stage came on the screen.

Tatsuha's eyes widened as the camera focused in on his beloved, who was currently back to back against a beautiful girl, that looked to be about nineteen, just like his lover. Could this be the girl? But she couldn't be. He watched as she tossed her long white-blonde hair over her shoulder and grinned. There was just something about that gleam in her eyes that screamed 'Ryuichi'. Said man quickly cleared up all confusion. "My sister, Sakia."

Tatsuha opened his mouth to comment that he didn't even know that the rock star had a sister, but a quick look form Ryuichi silenced him. He turned his gaze back at the screen to watch the rest of the video unfold.

There seemed to be a little tension between Ryuichi and his sister. There were a few quiet words exchanged and suddenly Ryuichi began picking out a tune on the guitar he held in his hands. Since when had his Ryuichi known how to play the guitar? Oh well. The girl opened her mouth and her voice filled the void the was where ever it was they were playing at.

Her voice held a certain quality, just like her brother's, but it wasn't as refined, as well tuned. She was still a novice in Tatsuha's ears, but his ears had been trained to tell the difference between a raw, untrained voice and a voice like Ryuichi's or even Shuichi's. He was sure that those in the audience were unaware of the subtle differences between her raw talent, which was a sizable amount, and what he voice could be if it were trained a bit more. He stopped marveling over her voice and began to listen to the words of the song. Ryuichi wouldn't have shown him this unless there was something he wanted to say by it. Perhaps there was some clue in the song.

"Blankly you look up at the sky, waiting for your fairy tale princess."

This was no song Tatsuha had ever heard before. He could tell that it held some sort of meaning to his lover though. Ryuichi was tearing up. Before Tatsuha had time to fully contemplate that fact, the camera angle shifted and now focus on a young girl. Her eyes widened and black hair flew as she spun around to ask something of the person in the chair next to her. He was obviously feeling guilty about something she said and her eyes reflected a bit of anger in their brown depths that told Tatsuha that she hadn't liked his answer. Then her eyes were once again riveted to the stage, as Sakia sang on and Ryuichi began playing like he had never played before.

"The black haired maiden that watches from the trees, while we wrestle and play. That smiling face and pretty eyes will make you her knight, and, no matter how much she hurts you, she'll always be your fairytale princess. And I promise, even if it's a comforting lie, from a sister to her beloved twin, things will be better in the morning, and one day the falling rain, will just stop falling. And sunshine will come, in the form of your fairytale angel."

There was now a maniac grin on his lover's face, and the young man on screen hopped off the stage and made his way to the back of the room. The camera once again shifted it's gaze on the young woman. She was now staring at Ryuichi in a way that reminded Tatsuha of himself. That look of longing etched on her face, but instead of feeling jealousy, Tatsuha was just happy. He knew who this was now, and he also knew that this was the one woman Ryuichi had ever allowed himself to love. He knew that his Ryu loved him more than anything in the world, but he had now come to terms with the fact that there had been someone before him. Someone else that had been able to capture the singer's heart, and he knew that person had made his love very happy. He could see it in the eyes of his lover's younger self. Both of these people were in love, and Tatsuha accepted that.

Her lips moved, but he could hear what was being said over the roar of the crowd. Ryuichi also said something, not into his microphone. He held out his hands and the girl took them. The camera's view followed them back to the stage where Sakia was waiting for them with a grumpy look on her face. She had obviously been forced into participating in this fiasco.

Sakia placed her hand over the microphone and whispered something to her brother, who just laughed. The camera zoomed in on the trio and Sakia took a deep breath. The song continued on, minus one guitarist, but that track was made up for quickly by Noriko and her keyboard.

"So the handsome prince asks the pretty girl is she'd like to be his wife, and then our dark haired girl told him..."

There was moment of silence. The drums machines were finished playing. Tohma's look-alike stopped pretending to play and Noriko's fingers were still. Yes, that was a Tohma look-alike up there. Tatsuha had met the man in person and knew that it wasn't him on that stage. Tohma must be the one running the camera, but that wasn't what Tatsuha was thinking at the moment. He was watching as the beautiful girl as she made up her mind.

Tatsuha knew her answer even before she said it. Her eyes lit up and a smile graced her perfect lips. She was going to say yes, and deep down inside, it hurt. He knew that this had already taken place, and yet, he could still feel the love radiating from both of them. It was a love that he had dreamed of having with Ryuichi ever since he was young himself. It was a love he was sure that he had, but was now no longer certain that Ryuichi felt the same way. It was hard to forget the one you loved, and he now knew that Ryu hadn't forgotten about his dark haired princess. Was there a place for a dark haired prince in the man's heart now? His musing were cut short by the loud yelling of the girl's answer.

"OH MY GODS! YES!" He watched through teary eyes as she flung herself on his god. It truly was a beautiful sight. The crowd clapped and whistled, and then everything went silent once again, as, with a roll of her eyes, Sakia finished the song.

"And they lived happily ever after."

There was now a huge make-out session occurring on stage. Sakia was now pissed off beyond pissed off. Yes. She sure hadn't wanted to do this at her concert. "Ok. Get it off stage before you make hot, passionate love on my stage for the audience."

The girl pulled back and laughed nervously. Tatsuha could see her blushing fiercely. The younger Ryuichi on TV seemed to notice her discomfort and began to drag her off the stage. Sakia called after them "You got a charming blush there, Morishita!"

Well, now I have a name. Tatsuha thought. It didn't sound like much of a name, though. Must have been her last name. He knew that a lot of Japanese chicks liked to be called by their last names. That must be it.

"Bit me Sakia!" The girl yelled back as she allowed herself to be led away.

"No thanks!" The video ended with Sakia yelling her disgust.

Tatsuha opened his mouth to comment, but Ryuichi beat him to it. "Don't say a word just yet. There's still something I need to show you."

Ryuichi offered his hand and Tatsuha took it without a moment's thought. He would follow Ryuichi anywhere. It was only until after they had left the building that he remember the way she had looked when she'd taken his Ryu's hand. He sighed to himself. Would Ryuichi ever think of him like he used to think of her? Would he ever feel the need to announce his love at the top of his lungs for the world to hear? Tatsuha wished he would, but knew that he would take anything he could get. Anything that Ryuichi was willing to give.

They entered the grounds of a nearby shrine. Tatsuha immediately recognize it. He came here to pray sometimes. Ryuichi quickly led him to a sheltered corner, protected by a few old sakura trees. Tatsuha was then seated on the bench while Ryuichi went to stand next to three graves at the base of the largest one.

"These three graves belong to three people that were very close to me at one time in my life. They were killed somewhere in between New Jersey and New York City. Stanton Gide. He was a horror novelist and deeply in love with my sister, Sakia. She is buried right there next to him. They were on their way to one of his book signings when a drunk driver hit them head on. They were killed instantly. The young woman riding in the backseat of their car wasn't so lucky. She lived for half an hour after the accident, but she was in constant pain. She managed to live long enough to hold her dead child in her hands. The two month old fetus that had been in her womb at the time. Yes, Tatsuha. She was the late Sakura Sakuma, or Sakura Morishita before she married me. I lost it all on that night. I lost a friend, a sister, a wife, and a child. It was almost more than I could bear. Luckily for me, I had Tohma and Noriko there to pick up the pieces. I shipped the bodies here, to this shrine for a reason."

"This is her family's shrine, now run by one of her cousin's children. She was born here and this is where we first met. That song your heard earlier was made for me by my sister to help me with the loneliness I had felt after we had to move away. The girl in the song was Sakura. She had been terribly shy when I was still living in this area and she'd always hide in the many sakura trees around here and just watch us as we played. I think it might have been love at first sight for both of us. I loved her, Tatsuha, and to some extent I still love her today. But this is my dilemma. I also love you."

Tatsuha could feel the joy springing up in his heart and he smiled despite himself. "Ryuichi? I love you, too, but I don't want to force you to do anything that you don't want to. If you want to remember her for the rest of your life, then that's all right with me. As long as you are happy, so am I."

"And that's the problem. I want to be with you. No reservations. No holding back. I want to love you and only you for the rest of our lives, Tatsuha. And I want you to be able to call me Ryu without having to fear that all I see is her. All I see is you now, and that's all I want." Ryuichi smiled and held out his hand one more time. "I want you to be with me forever, and I'm sorry if I what you wanted was a big show and fireworks and a nice song. Those days are over for me. Love isn't just a big show, something that I have to show everyone to know that it's real. Love is this. Love is standing here in the dark, hoping against all hope, that the one you love will return your feelings, even though they know what you've been through in the past."

Tatsuha smiled and grabbed his only love's hand. Ryuichi had finally been able to put the past behind him. The priest in training was proud. There was no doubt in his mind now at who Ryuichi thought of with love. He knew that he could never be Sakura, or that he could never have children like she could, but he could be there. He would be the one that stayed by Ryuichi's side forever. He would always cherish the memory of his love's first love, but he wouldn't let her stop him from having what he knew he wanted now.

And somewhere above, in heaven, Sakura Morishita looked down on the pair and smiled. Her Ryu had finally learned to love once again...


End file.
